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It's not enough to just clock in, clock out, and get by at work.
Unless you feel awesome about it. Do you, though? I used to treat work as something to endure, a means to an end. Just need to get by. Clock in. Clock out. Real life happens outside the office. That’s when my guard drops and I can really be myself. There’s no problem approaching your work life this way. If it works for you, good for you. If you like how you feel, then power to you. However, if you’re like I was, getting by isn’t enough. I felt horrible clocking in and out feeling divorced from my personality and real interests. It dawned on me that 8 hours is a long time to be disgruntled. Every day. My quality of life left much to be desired. One of the most memorable things a peer told me was “Blossom where you’re planted.” Those 4 little words compelled me to consider how I might thrive, excel, succeed, learn, and grow under my present circumstances. It took me some time to let this sink in, but I meditated on that statement. Instead of, I hate this job. I hate what I’m doing. I should be somewhere else. Why isn't this other thing I'm working on taking off?” I asked myself questions like, “How can I grow here? What can I contribute that I would actually be thrilled to do? Which other skills do I have that I can use here? What works about being here?” When I answered those questions and implemented my responses, I felt more connected to myself and although I still wanted to leave the job, being there was so much more bearable. You can change any situation without changing it directly but instead, changing what you think and how you act inside the situation. Take this one question to work with you this week: How can you blossom where you’re planted? And if you’re hungry for ongoing and reliable one-on-one support to stop checking out and getting by at work, then drop a comment in the contact form on this website. Talk to me. Tell me what you're struggling with. Tell me how you're just getting by. Tell me what would delight you in your professional career. Can't wait to hear from you.
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 My parents speak 4 languages fluently.
I speak one fluently, the other 3 are basic. I had LOTS of opportunities to be fluent in all 4. But I stopped myself because I was afraid of being seen as a beginner. I’ll go a step further, I felt ashamed to be a beginner. It takes courage to fail. With people watching. It takes courage to keep your goal at the forefront and to keep not getting it until you do. I decided that stumbling to find my words in front of the fluent wasn’t an experience I was willing to have repeatedly. I was more committed to managing others’ perceptions of me than I was to the practice of learning and doing something I wanted to do. It would’ve been awesome to have had a life coach then (I was in my late teens-early 20s) because I’d nip the unnecessary mind drama in the bud and stay working at fluency. I would’ve gotten something real important: Girl, you can’t save your ass and your face at the same time. I didn’t get all this then, but I get it now. I can still choose to re-learn, practice, and work at language fluency. To get over myself and be OK with not having my words sound like I know the language inside and out. To fall and fail over and over and over and over until I get it. My desire for fluency today is a lot less than it was when I was actively practicing. But there’s still a whisper of a desire. And I’m acknowledging it. And I know what to do about it. You might be reading this and toying with some kind of new beginning in your mind. You’ve been at your job for 7 years and you feel confident there. You’re fluent at your job. And you could teach other people how to do what you do in your sleep. The problem is that this job is old news. You dream of becoming a Reiki practitioner and starting a wellness practice. But you work in finance and tech. This new direction doesn’t make logical sense. But you want it. You delay because you’re afraid. Knowing what you know now, you realize it’s time to choose. You can choose to look good on the outside and stay at that job for another 5 years. At least everyone will think highly of you, right? But you’ll be dissatisfied and wonder “what if?” You can also choose courage. You can choose to get clear about why you love this new venture. And go for it. Let’s get this next bit out of the way. With new beginnings come so much discomfort. It’ll be excruciating at times. You’ll be confronted with old perceptions of who you think you are and new perceptions of the person you’re becoming. It’s not going to feel good. And that’s great news. Because you’re choosing LIFE. If you’re almost there, not quite there, but want to be there choosing life, growth, and excellence…I can help you with that. I can help you choose courage and take the necessary actions until you get where you’re wanting to go. No matter what. Get started by scheduling your life coaching consultation. People don't even realize that what they're actually resigning from is white supremacy culture.
That's what runs the vast majority of our workplaces. And it doesn't work. Peep the 13 Characteristics of White Supremacy Culture
Each characteristic has several antidotes. Once you understand the poison you've been unintentionally drinking, you can apply the right cure. Treat yourself first, then, if you choose to, give others the cure. Helping others can look like starting or joining your organization's Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Belonging (DEI or DEIB) Committee. That's what I did. That's what I'm currently doing. Source: Dismantling Racism: A Workbook for Social Change Groups, by Kenneth Jones and Tema Okun, ChangeWork, 2001 |
AuthorMy name's Valerie and I'm a Certified Life Coach with a background in teaching dance as well as facilitating diversity, equity, and inclusion professional development conversations and workshops. 
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