This photo represents me giving myself permission 12 years ago to pursue a dream to be a TV host.
A year before that, I denied that desire by giving in to my doubts.
The main one: I thought I was too ugly and too fat to be seen on camera.
Until I met my then-boyfriend.
As our relationship developed, I told him about this dream.
Before I moved to L.A., I daydreamed about getting an agent, going on auditions, booking work.
But then I got here and my insecurities shot through the roof. I thought I needed an agent before I could go on auditions and I didn't think I could get an agent because I thought I was too ugly.
My guy showed me otherwise. Sitting on one side of my bed in my first apartment in Hollywood, I told him my dream and my doubt.
And he told me (I paraphrase), "Valerie, you're gorgeous and beautiful enough right now to shoot some videos and make this happen. You could shoot some videos today."
His words, his energy, his love relaxed me.
His sentiments introduced the thought: Well, maybe I can actually do this.
Shortly after that, I got to work. I told myself I didn't need an agent to start my journey.
I told myself, I can start being a host now by getting a camera and going around town recording myself interviewing and profiling people and places.
I started thinking, where can I get a camera?
I asked my parents for a Flip Cam for my birthday present.
I started thinking, what kinds of shows would I most want to audition for?
My answer: Dance and movement-related.
Then I created a series of videos of me doing just that. I created a YouTube account and uploaded the videos.
I learned simple editing and put together my own reels and, in time, reached out to talent agents with those reels.
The third agent I reached out to brought me on as a client.
I went on auditions.
I booked work.
I'm willing to bet that you've got a dream you haven't experienced yet. Maybe more than one.
You salivate when you imagine it. You're hungry for it.
But you're not doing anything to make it a reality.
Because the pain of anticipated disappointment is larger than your belief that your dream will happen. (I can help you with this!)
So you accept the current state of affairs in your life and you try to forget that dream.
Because you've given in to your doubt.
And you haven't given yourself permission to HAVE this dream in your life.
But you can give yourself permission today.
What I learned from my then-boyfriend is that we need others to encourage us and to be safe sounding boards.
As a life coach, I'm a professional encourager, thought partner, guide, and mindset ninja.
For an entire year.
Come on now!
With this kind of support, imagine yourself exactly one year from today.
What will you have given yourself permission to do, be, and have?
Which doubts will you have eradicated?
Let's find out!
Drop me a message here and let me know you'd like to schedule a 60-min consultation.
During this conversation, I'll show you how to:
I Do Not Favor Work Over This
I do not favor work over my mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical well-being.
Yep. This was a hard one.
Because how could I possibly call and say I’d be late, or worse, use sick time to stay home and nurse my tummy who was violently rejecting sustenance just 5 hours ago?
How could I possibly use sick time to take a mental health day too?
And wait a minute, how could you choose to NOT have that very important ONE-ON-ONE casual-yet-business dinner “meeting” with that slimy douchebag director (who just feels very off to you) of the company your department head chose to partner with on this huge project you’re spearheading?
How could you possibly choose your well-being over trying to prove or convince THEM that you are good at your job and should not get fired or reprimanded because you are, in fact, guaranteeing the long-term health of the company by ensuring you are strong and vital enough to keep doing your work in the future?
Why all the hoop-la?
Because they couldn’t enact total control by making sure they can track your whereabouts every minute you’re scheduled to be on the clock? OH-KAY. Hmmm.
No thank you, next.
Giving yourself a break doesn't mean you're letting yourself off the hook.
Let that sink in.
Do you really need to work until ‘til 6:30 again (or later) in order to show boss person you’re reliable and worthy of recognition and promotion?
Or to fulfill some unspoken need to feel like you’re doing enough?
Yeah, these late nights are fucking with your quality of life - eating dinner later, throwing off your meal schedule, increasing your cravings, having less time to unwind before you go to bed to start all this over again tomorrow.
You’re not slacking on the job if you leave work at 4 or 5, or take off early some days at 3. This 40-hour work week is questionable anyway.
All that giving yourself a break means is you’re choosing to be kind to yourself, to take care of yourself, and respect yourself.
I thought if boss-person saw me leave AFTER 5, then that meant I was serious about the job.
Yeah, I don’t believe that anymore.
How ‘bout we do stellar work with plenty of time to also enjoy the other aspects of our lives?
Because life isn’t just all about work.
And productivity isn’t actually measured by how many hours you log in.
Productivity is more personal.
It’s optimized when you recognize your own rhythms and which tasks are better to do at a particular time.
Pay attention to the time of day when you feel most energized.
Do your most challenging tasks requiring prime brain function then.
When you feel more sluggish, do the more mundane work.
When you listen to, and work WITH, your body’s needs and structure your work around that, not only will it take you LESS time to do certain projects, but you’ll have MORE energy to focus on what you really want to do outside the office.
Listen, you don’t have to figure all this out on your own. Not if you don’t want to.
We can create your Personalized Productivity Regimen (PPR) during weekly coaching. Imagine the energy and time you'll get back to focus your attention on the things that matter, on and off the job.
Just drop me a message on the Contact page with your questions about this process, or about anything else in this post.
My name's Valerie and I'm a Certified Life Coach with a background in teaching dance as well as facilitating diversity, equity, and inclusion professional development conversations and workshops.