After you read the text images above, here are some questions to consider during your hell-yeah job/career exploration:
Don’t try to write all official, like the job posts you’re used to seeing. Have fun with this exercise. Create what you want first, then approach the job search from that place. Does this feel like a daunting task? No biggie. I can guide you through it as part of your 12-month private coaching package. Damn, how luxurious must that feel, to know you’ve got a coach watching your back, asking you questions you would never know to ask yourself, sharing different ways of approaching things from perspectives you never knew existed. For an entire year. Delicious! All this to become the woman who has created a career she loves while also creating a life she admires.
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One Wednesday last month I woke up at 3 AM and couldn’t get back to sleep until 5AM.
My thoughts were racing. I was nervous about dating. I was very upset about something someone close to me did. I was doing a business training that had me excited and tired. Something I was looking forward to didn’t work out as I had anticipated. And I heard someone say this other thing that I didn’t agree with that was still bothering me. When I finally dragged myself out of the bed that AM, my emotions were heavy and I was irritated. And I felt like this for much of the day. I often operate on level 8 to 10 energy. Not every day, but a lot. And that day was not one of those days. I was on level 4. So let’s say you have to show up to work and your emotions and thoughts are all kinds of topsy-turvy And let’s say canceling your day is not an option. On days like this I ask myself a few questions:
I re-prioritized what was most important for me that day, which meant I let some things go. I didn’t do everything on my schedule. Other activities I modified. And I let it be OK. And I worked on letting it be OK throughout the day. Let’s say you normally do an hour kickboxing workout after work on Wednesdays, but today is a level 4 day and your body is like, “Unh-unh!” You also don’t want to skip the exercise altogether. Modify that shit! Listen to your body! What does it need? “Switch out kickboxing for pilates”, she tells you. “And do 30 min instead of 60.” Listen to her. She begs you to. If you’re used to level 8-10, slow your roll today. You do enough. Let it be OK. ------ I help women of color take excellent care of their physical, mental, and emotional well-being as they strive for career and job satisfaction. Book a consultation with me to level up your self-care while kicking ass at work and home. You want to work with a life coach, but you can't seem to get yourself to schedule that (free) consultation. Why? You could be telling yourself, "This looks hard. Changing my life looks like a lot of work and I don't think I'm up for it." You also say, "It's not the right time. I've got a lot going on anyway." Don't let this slide. These statements are resistance and they're costing you your best life. The mind abhors change. Its jobs is to keep you safe from perceived danger. Your mind's job is to keep you away from discomfort, even if that discomfort is THE ONLY path to:
Do not accept your mind's knee-jerk healthy-risk-averse reactions against seeking the support you long for. Discomfort is the only way to grow a human inside a body. Discomfort is the only way babies come out of that body and into the world. Your dreams, desires, and goals are like a bunch of babies. And you get to grow them all. With all that growth, discomfort is inevitable. And so f*cking what? Discomfort is a small price to pay to become the person you yearn to be. To become the person who no longer goes with everyone else's flow at the expense of your own. To become the person who gets all your steps in even though you work a sedentary job. And remember, with me as your life coach, you're not going through any of this discomfort on your own. I'll be on your side, celebrating and encouraging you as you move forward. I'll be there to share hacks, tips, tricks, and tools that will keep you on track until your goal and dreams are fulfilled. Your coach has your back. And all you have to do is take the next small step. Loving what you do for work can exist outside the 9-5 realm, beyond the employee label.
Loving what you do might look like having parallel careers. (e.g. a tech company project manager who's also a caterer or a professional dancer who teaches movement classes at high schools in between gigs). Loving what you do could be having your own business. Maybe it's a hybrid of your own biz and working for someone else. Careers look different today than when I was a kid. Back then it was all about finding that ONE job that paid your bills. Then you advance along that path. Anything outside of this paradigm was unreliable and to be avoided. Btw, there's nothing wrong with pursuing the C-suite track at one company if that's your jam. Just ask yourself if that's really your thing. Introspection might reveal you're pursuing your parents' dreams, not yours. What I know about myself, my personality, how I feel most alive, is that I'm not the lifelong-employee-at-one-place-kind-of person. I've tried to fit myself into that box, but it doesn't work for me. This might be you too. Doesn't make you unreliable. Doesn't mean you're not the "commitment type." It means that's how you're wired. It means this is how you thrive at work. Consider your desired LIFESTYLE, not just what you do for a living. How does your profession fit with how you want your life to look and feel? As opposed to, how can you fit your life around your work? You can afford to imagine the conditions that will make you actually love and want to go into your job. Maybe it's having multiple well-paid part-time positions whose sum total gives you the flexibility to visit that cute beach town every other Thursday to Saturday. You know what your desired lifestyle is. You know what that work life looks like. Even if you don't think you do. You just haven't had the opportunity to articulate it boldly and clearly. Fear that your dream isn't possible, is unreasonable, or unrealistic prevents you from acknowledging your truth. So instead you say, "I don't know what I want." How 'bout we not say THAT anymore? Give yourself the time and space to contemplate (and write out) all your juicy work and life conditions. And tell no one about it (except your life coach, of course). At least don't tell people yet. Don't need others' skepticism trampling on your seedling ideas. Now if you're mind is blown and you're too overwhelmed to flesh out your dream career and dream life on your own, then I've got you. Hit me up for support through one-on-one coaching. By the time we're done working together, you'll say, "I love what I do." If you don't, I'll give you back half of your coaching investment and I'll continue working with you for free until you love your life and have your dream career. You may not like your job, but you love the company you work for.
Your boss is awesome and you respect your colleagues. You know that something needs to change, but you don't know if resigning is the answer. If you could have things your way, you'd stay at the company, but you'd switch departments or do something different within your own department. Here's an idea: Write a description of what you would want to do instead.
I stopped working office jobs in 2015. In my current parallel career as a dance educator in a K-8 school, I decided that I wanted to bring more of my experience as a life coach into the workplace. In August 2020, I participated in optional after-hours race and equity discussion sessions. I volunteered to facilitate some of those sessions. I asked to get paid to do this regularly. They told me no. At first. A few months later, I received an email about a handful of newly created DEI leadership positions. I applied. I got one of the positions. In 2021, I became the DEI Lead Teacher, where I get paid to research race and equity history and best practices. I get to work with a team of respected colleagues in other departments. I get to co-create and co-facilitate much-needed workshops to a staff of over 100 people. I get to bring more of my expertise and skills as a life coach into the workplace. Just as I had desired to do in August 2020. With YOUR clear description of work that lights you up:
Keep being a top-notch employee. Keep being a leader. Practice believing that you can create the career you desire. You don't have to settle. I'm available for one-on-one coaching to accelerate your dream career and steer it in the direction you want to go. Become the confident professional you want to be. |
AuthorMy name's Valerie and I'm a Certified Life Coach with a background in teaching dance as well as facilitating diversity, equity, and inclusion professional development conversations and workshops. Archives
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